it's a brady bunch-partridge family death match!

It's a sitcom smackdown!

Who wins in a Brady Bunch-Partridge Family Death Match? Let's figure it out.
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Looking back, the year 1969 is momentous on many fronts. Richard Nixon became President of the United States. Police raided the Stonewall Inn, which resulted in riots and the beginning of the gay liberation movement in America. The U.S. pulled troops from Vietnam for the first time but also instituted the first draft lottery since World War II. The Beatles released Abbey Road, and John and Yoko got married. Senator Ted Kennedy abandoned Mary Jo Kopechne to a watery death after he drove his car off a bridge leaving Chappaquiddick Island. NASA put a man on the moon, while the Woodstock Concert promoters put nearly half a million people in a pasture in upstate New York. The Zodiac Killer probably killed his last victim in 1969, while the Manson family definitely killed Sharon Tate, her unborn baby, and four other people at her house on Cielo Drive.

And The Brady Bunch premiered on ABC.

In the Brady world, there was no war, no riots, no drunken politicians, no stoned hippies, and no mass murderers. The worst things the Brady kids faced were bouts of sibling rivalry, cheerleading tryouts, the need for braces or glasses, and getting hit in the face with a football.

If you’ve lived in a cave for the past fifty years, The Brady Bunch is the story…of a blended family: a widower with three sons who marries a widow/divorcee (writers never made it clear) with three daughters. It was utterly wholesome and wholly disconnected from reality.

The closest the show ever came to addressing anything remotely related to what was going on in the real world was when Carol campaigned against city hall to save a park or when friends of the family adopted three racially diverse children. The show also awkwardly tried to address the problem of Indigenous stereotypes during an episode about a trip to the Grand Canyon. The show lightly touched upon gender roles several times, such as when Marcia tried out for an all-male scouting organization.

One year after The Brady Bunch premiered, The Partridge Family hit the airwaves on ABC. A widowed mother led this singing family, assisted by a pseudo-father figure (the band’s manager). While the Partridge family was ostensibly “cooler” than the Brady family, they were simply a toastier version of the same white bread.

Like the Brady kids, the Partridge kids lived in a world untouched by murder or war. The show superficially addressed issues related to Indigenous Americans. It also tackled topics like ecology and conservation, gender roles, and the labor movement. But the kids’ significant problems centered on sibling relationships, dating, braces (I sense a pattern), and teenage rebellion.

So, what differentiated the shows from each other? Who wins in a Brady Bunch-Partridge Family Death Match? Let's figure it out!

Both shows featured interesting guest stars. There are too many to list, but here’s a sample. Davy Jones, Joe Namath, and Vincent Price appeared on The Brady Bunch, but The Partridge Family won this round with appearances by Richard Pryor, Mark Hamill, and Johnny Cash.

Let’s look at transportation. The Brady family had a few vehicles, but the most memorable was their station wagon. It was a 1971 Plymouth Satellite Wagon in two shades of brown. That’s pretty meh compared to the Partridge tour bus, a 1957 Chevy Superior colorfully painted in abstract blocks like those in a Piet Mondrian painting.

As far as housing is concerned, I think the Bradys take home the trophy. It had those cool double doors, open stairs (carpeted, of course), stonework in the living area, groovy orange and avocado kitchen appliances, and a double oven built into the wall. As a poor kid, I thought their house was the fanciest place I’d ever seen. I can’t remember anything remarkable about the Partridge house.

Both families appeared musically inclined, but the Brady kids would be more at home during amateur hour. Storylines portrayed the Partridge siblings as having a musical hit in the Top 40 and touring professionally. Initially, writers based the show on a real singing family, The Cowsills. Let’s give this one to The Partridge Family.

Let’s get really superficial and talk about the sex appeal. Greg Brady couldn’t touch Keith Partridge. Who could compete with David Cassidy’s glossy shag hairstyle, bright smile, and beautiful eyes? And Susan Dey was luminous. Shirley Jones was, too. I award three points to The Partridge Family.

What about the cute kid quotient? While Danny was adorable in a scampish way, Cindy Brady was a living doll. The Brady Bunch takes this category, although I’m inclined to take away a point for the introduction of Cousin Oliver.

Which show takes first place for franchising and merch? The Partridge Family inspired a cartoon, a reunion special, a reimaged TV show, and plans for an animated reboot. Related merchandise included lunchboxes, board games, comic books, novelizations, trading cards, paper dolls, coloring books, puzzles, clocks, notebooks, and beach towels.

The Brady Bunch had two failed spin-offs: Kelly’s Kids and The Bradys. It also inspired a Saturday morning cartoon, a variety show, some TV movies and specials, an HGTV renovation show, a Food Network Chopped episode, a stage musical, a crossover with RuPaul’s Drag Race, a Brady Brothers podcast, two films released in theaters and one made for television. Related merchandise included dolls, paper dolls, lunchboxes, trading cards, board games, puzzles, Halloween costumes, musical instruments, chess sets, tea sets, jewelry, and cigar bands (weird). The Brady Bunch takes this category.

How about TV ratings and awards? The Brady Bunch never placed in the top 30 of shows during its primetime run. Additionally, it was not nominated for any awards. The Partridge Family ranked as high as #16 in its second year. It was nominated for two Golden Globes and one Grammy. The Partridge Family takes this category.

I considered including a category for behind-the-scenes drama, but it didn’t seem right to make light of the cast members’ personal problems. They have been well cataloged across media.

It looks like The Partridge Family wins by a hair (or a glossy shag hairstyle). Do you disagree?
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Final thoughts: Both shows ended in 1974, the year that Richard Nixon resigned after the fallout from the Watergate scandal. Is that meaningful in any way?